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Sleekstep

Which sounds better in a formal business letter?

I am requesting more information about a job:I believe I could be a valuable asset to your company...I believe I could be a valuable employee...Or, any other ideas?
Dimview09:

Tell us a little more about the position your are seeking first

Sleekstep:

Its a data entry job. I was sending an email to request some more information.

Sleekstep:

Sorry...I forgot to say, "I am requesting more information about a job", wasn't part of the email...:-D

Dimview09:

Do you know about the company know there mission statement vendors just get a little familiar, be specific about the position and be cocky it is a good trait. Use you won words. I you don't get a job at the first place you try it is because you aren't compatible. You will find a place that you are.

Sleekstep:

Thanks BMC

Sheldon:

If you are going to say, "I believe I could be a valuable asset to your company" don't say "your company". Say, "I believe I could be a valuable asset to [insert company name here]" That will tell them that it isn't just a generic cover letter sent to everyone, and it will tell them that you took the time to personalize it. That sounds pretty good, just make sure you make your letter specific to that company, and not generic. Also, one of the other instant killers is to start your letter with "To Whom It May Concern". If they see that, they will throw it in the garbage. Make sure you know the exact person that it is going to (their first and last name) and use that.
Good luck :)

Sleekstep:

Thanks for the tips sheldon.

Yur Naem:

man, you are smart sheldon! that is some truth.
do the research to find the person you should address the e-mail to.

Headache:

I would try.....
In the interest of exploring employment opportunities within your organization, I am requesting a detailed description of the position you have listed
I feel you will find that my work history supports my feelings that I am capable,motivated, and extremely competent in my previous positions

Yur Naem:

just wondering.....is that how you get the clown jobs? then ya soak'em with a squirting flower. lol, jk hello Smilingmicheal! happy christmas

Sleekstep:

Thanks smilingmichael. I'll definitely use some of that.

Rick:

I've hired over 10 thousand people in my 68 years. Never use the word could. Use would instead Try. After investigating your company on the internet, I would like to learn more about it as a prospective employee.

Sleekstep:

Thanks for the insight

Ika:

I am requesting more information about a job:
I believe I could be a valuable asset to your company...

Or, I believe I could be a valuable asset to your company, therefore, I am requesting information regarding the position of....

Sleekstep:

thanks headache...

Yur Naem:

I will be a valueable employee.......
You should talk with confidence, like you know you are going to get the job.
or you can try this......
"I am a QnAer, if I don't know the answer that I may need for your company, I can get them."
no that's a joke!

Sleekstep:

LOL....even though it's true!
Thanks ALX

Yur Naem:

you bet!

Demon:

val emp hype

Sleekstep:

hmmm...a riddle?

Answer:
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